What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
Somebody took a corner!
Why didn't the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer!
What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
Paul gas coin!
Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time?
Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?
Captain: Well, it could have been worse.
Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!