I.R.S. phone calls

The following are actual phone calls made to I.R.S. offices across the United States.

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Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.

IRS: Are you married?

Caller: Well, sort of...

IRS: What?

Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.

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Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.

IRS: What does it say?

Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.

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Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.

IRS: Both. It's the same amount.

Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?

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Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?

IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.

Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.